abuse · Christianity · hate · Health · joy · Love · Psychology · Relationships · Religion · spirituality

Understanding Grace and Christian Counseling

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During the most difficult time of my life, I was found in secular therapy.  I came out, week after week, with a sense of victimization as the therapist validated my feelings to lay waste on the people in my life who have done me wrong. In this demented way, I gathered self-esteem and the ritualistic satisfaction of putting myself above the level of those bent on changing my life for the worst. Perhaps they were in the wrong.  Perhaps I had a need satisfied in merely believing this.  Either way, the therapy only made me angry.  The anger erased any joy I felt in life.

I know a young girl whose mother died when she was 14 years old.   The last memory she has of her was when this young girl got up in the middle of the night to march off to the bathroom.  There was her mother, sitting in a fetal position with anger dressing her face.  She slapped her daughter and told her to go back to bed.  The child returned to her room unrelieved.  In the morning, she woke up to her brother’s scream.  He found their mother dead on the couch.  She had taken her own life with drugs.  What a thing to carry.

The father of these children managed to stay with the family in spite of his wife’s mental illnesses.  He received his wife’s mental and physical abuse, just as his children had through mahy years. His own family begged him to leave her.  He never could because all he saw was visions of his children destroyed by their mother over the years of his absense in their every day lives.  He elected to stay.  He stayed with them and saw them through to adulthood after the dramatic passing of his wife.  They simply adored him.

Later, after 6 years gone from home, this same little girl had grown up to a young woman.  Under the influence of a boy she met, she sought therapy to help her deal with anger issues.  She did not scapegoat on her mother.  She used her father as her scapegoat.  At first she drifted away from the family and began to resent her father’s second marriage along with the four step children that joined her every day.  Even though in the same area, she merely came around twice a year to celebrate the many parties and gatherings that this family begged her to join.  Soon, there were excuses to not ever go; work, gaming, name it. Now she writes anger letters to her father.  When I spoke with him, one spring morning after I returned to work from Spring Break, he said he was blindsighted.

I asked what I thought happened. I asked if she started therapy.  He said, “As a matter of fact, she did.”   I was not surprised.  From personal experience, I have found that time after time, modern therapy works off of the assumption that the client is the greatest being in existence and the only purpose in life is to love the self above all others. Anyone else is lower on the totem pole and less worthy of the client’s affections.  Anger is magnified, the self is inflated, and it is all at the expense of loved ones.

Through my own personal experience, I found secular counseling to be purposeless and harmful.  Atheist or not, we are all humans that thrive off of the concept of social “beingness”.  When we try to separate ourselves from our families in anger, our circumstance from joy, and our entire lives from anything greater than ourselves, then we are inviting the poison of  ego into our lives.  When ego enters, joy is displaced.  Misery begins to dress every day that we try to live in self-greatness.

In truth, we were not made to inflate ourselves the way modern, secular therapy invites us.  When we are so trusting of someone to come into our lives with a degree in creating anger, we are especially vulnerable.  It isn’t the young woman’s fault that she has lost her father through issues that fed her ego.  It is the fault of the therapist.  Any time we are fed ego on a silver spoon, we tend to take it as a delicacy, no questions asked.  Like the quick fix of drugs, we are elated at our greatness.  However, it is a temporary high.  It is rather like putting a band-aid on an infected, open gash into the soul.

Real healing properties come from Christian counseling.  Whether you are atheistic or a believer, it doesn’t matter.  Christian counseling focuses on forgiveness, a healing attribute for every one of us.  Being angry is far more damaging than being the one who is “angered at”. Anger splits the soul in two, it harbors obsessive stress,  and it plays us to be the victim, which feeds on itself into more hostility.  Eventually, this takes a physical toll on our health and well-being.  Forgiveness is an essential ingredient to realization of who we are and the beauty of embracing the blessings of life itself.  Without forgiveness, we would tally our enemies as we go.  Instead, if we issue understanding to others, we begin to realize that we are all on a journey, and we never really arrive at our desintation of perfection.  All we can hope for is to get a little further toward the light before our time is gone.  Blame and scapegoating only drags us into darkness.

Christian counseling turns us away from ourselves and celebrates our love for others, doing for others, and considering others in the light of our lives.  When we are focused outside of our own ego, we tend to find peace and become more oriented toward our true purpose; being there for others.  It is no longer a quick fix.  It becomes a lifestyle which ultimately turns to joy.

Christian counseling reminds us that there is something greater than ourselves.  No matter who or what we are, we are doused in a reverent humility that deserves recognition in our cognitive journey toward that light.  Humility is that thing which gives us an awe inspiring pause at our existence, and it brings with it an appreciation for every breath we take.

Keeping in mind that the wayward terror of modern therapy is riddled with selfishness, egotistical focus, and the need to burn someone else as we try and try to light ourselves up in the dark, is it any wonder that the world is confused with anger?  Christian counseling contradicts secular counseling in that it takes our ego and matches it toward others in a humble and strengthening way.  It takes us to places that are larger than ourselves and leaves us with the peace of mind knowing that we are never alone.  Secular counseling takes us so far apart from others in the task of anger, we can’t help but feel alone and abandoned.  Christian counseling offers joy in a world of sorrow.  It is decorated with Grace and Love. It hands us nutrients through forgiveness and humility that bring us together along the journey of a lifetime.

Now, how to tell the world of the lost souls that trust ego through harmful modern counseling, is another story.

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